Failing Forward

Failing forward is an interesting concept that I read months back on a fitness business blog. I’ve been applying the concept to my own business, but I realized recently that I should be applying it to all facets of my life. And I think it something you should consider too.

                The idea of failing forward is this: let’s say you have a goal, like losing 20 lbs in 3 months. It’s a reasonable goal, not too bold, but not too easy either. You got a plan laid out to get you 20 lbs lighter, and you follow it as best as you can. There will be some high points and low points, but for the most part you’re keeping up with the plan. When the 3 month mark hits, you jump on the scale and you see you’ve lost 15 lbs.

                For many, they see this as failure. They get discouraged because they didn’t get 20 lbs. And true, they didn’t reach their initial goal, and in that sense they failed. But what they forget is that they are now 15 lbs lighter than they were before. They are 15 lbs closer to their intended goal. They failed, yes, but they failed forward. They may not have lost 20 lbs in 3 months, but maybe it will take another month to get to 20, or maybe two.

                The point here is that you set yourself a goal and you’re taking steps toward it. You may not have reached it in the timeframe you originally intended, but if you keep at it, you will reach your goal. Don’t stop because you failed the first time. It took Thomas Edison thousands of tries to invent the light bulb. That’s thousands of failures. Did he give up? Obviously not. But each of those failures was one step forward to reaching his goal. In fact, to Edison, he didn’t believe he failed; he “found 10000 ways that don’t work.”

 

 

                Start applying the “failing forward” concept to your life. Each “failure” is a learning experience. You learn what works and what doesn’t. Most importantly, you’re always striving for your goals, even if you don't reach them when you want to.

Running Shoe Question

            The other day I got an email from a friend. She was being asked questions about running shoes, and she was kind enough to forward me the questions to help out with it. So I decided to turn this into a post about running shoes, as the questions are fairly common. There had already been some back and forth email between the two of them when I finally was forwarded the below questions:

            “I used to feel some knee pains, but it's not as severe as before. I think it may have to do with finally changing the shoes. Speaking of that, how long should you keep your shoes for? I've read on running sites that real runners say 300-500 miles. I've also seen 6 months recommended. What's your take based on the type of workout that I engage in?

            Oh and I checked my shoes again, they're worn out near the outside edge and the outside heel. I think that makes me a supinator but I originally didn't think so because I have relatively flat feet and supinators generally have high arches. Do supinators need some cushioning?

            Lastly, I want to ask about the Nike Frees. They look cool. I think they are designed to be quite flat and I think people said that you want flatter shoes if you're going to do work with weights. If I really am a supinator, do you think there's harm in wearing those for my treadmill warm-ups and weight work? I think Frees with higher numbers have more cushioning.”

This was my reply:

            “When it comes to changing your shoes, the general recommendation is 300-500 miles. For many hardcore runners, that's usually every 6 months. But judging by the mileage you put into your shoes, you can get away with training in running shoes for at least a year.

            When it comes to choosing running shoes, it boils down to comfort, fit, and how you feel in them when you walk, but most importantly run. You shouldn't have to break in a shoe. The right shoe should fit like a glove and if you have any nagging issues with shoes when you walk or run in them, try another pair. It may take hours to find the right shoe (trust me on that, I know), but it's worth it. You don't want to drop $150 on a pair that will only give you trouble, so take the time to choose wisely. And if they happen to be on the lower end of the price range, that's a bonus.

            So should supinators need cushioning? Depends on what you're comfortable with. Because you're not doing a lot of high mileage, you should be able to get away with a shoe that's not overly built up. On a side note, I will say it's not always the shoe that causes problems in the joints. It plays a role, but it's not the main issue. You have to look at your technique when you run and whether or not you have any muscle imbalances.

            As for the Nike Frees, they are a good shoe, but again it comes down to how it fits on your feet and how comfortable it is. They are generally flat, which is great when you do deadlifts and squats. And they're nice and light which is great for runs. Other shoes similar to the Frees are the New Balance Minimus, or Saucony Hattori. Basically these shoes are called minimalist because they are not overly built and provide you with enough cushioning. And when you run in them, they allow you to run more naturally. They're great for both running and lifting, but I will note if you plan on doing longer runs in them, you should gradually build up your mileage.

            I hope I was able to answer your questions. If you need clarification, or if you have any other questions about running, please don't hesitate to drop me an email. I'll be glad to help out.”

            Do you guys have any running related questions? Throw ‘em my way, I’d love to help you out!

What I've Learned Since Becoming a Dad

Last Sunday was Father’s Day, and it was my second one to celebrate. I’ve been a dad now for 15 months, and a lot has changed in my life. Over the last year and a bit, I’ve learned things about myself, and I’ve learned lessons along the way, about being a better father, a better husband, and a better man. And over the course of fatherhood I’m sure I will be learning more, but in the short time that I’ve been a dad, there have been a few things I’ve learned.

 

Responsibilities: Gotta Get Shit Done.

                 I think this is pretty obvious, but there are dead beat dads in the world who haven’t assumed responsibility. This has been a huge thing for me. Responsibility was easier before: take care of wifey, take care of myself, make sure we’re happy. Having a child in your life throws everything you thought about responsibility out the window. I find myself putting my needs on the back burner more often for the needs of my family.

                Having a little one at home, you start thinking how am I going to provide for him? Will I be able to give him what he needs and wants? What about RESP’s, education, life insurance to make sure he’s taken care of when I’m gone? Do I create a will? There’s more to think about when you have a kid.

     

Priorities: What’s Most Important in Life

                As I alluded to in responsibilities, I’ve been putting my family ahead of myself. Priorities have changed now. Before my son, I was athletically inclined. My goal, my focus was triathlons. How to race faster, what do I need to eat, how do I support my own pursuits. Redline Conditioning was an idea that I  started, but I never really started, if you want know what I mean. I wanted to race, to compete with the best, and whatever I did for a job was to support my dream. But after holding that little boy in my hands, everything  changed.

                Having a job was one thing, but I felt it wasn’t enough. I didn’t want to work for someone else, I wanted to call my own shots. So Redline Conditioning started to take fruition, because it had to. I no longer wanted to work for someone else. I wanted to be my own boss and take control. I took a step to entrepreneurship because I saw it as a way to financial freedom. And having that freedom will allow me to spend more time with my family, which is at the top of my priority list. Everything I do, I do for them.

                As my son grows, I want to be a part of every aspect of his life. I want him to know that I will be there for him. I will pick him up when he is down. I will encourage him when he needs the boost. Every boy needs a strong father figure, and I want to be that man, that father, who provides it.

 

Time Management: I Didn’t Do Much of It Before, Now I Gotta

                 Since priorities and responsibilities have changed, so has my personal time. I can’t just simply sit for an hour and watch TV or surf the net, or play on my Xbox. Time has become a much more precious commodity, a very valued asset that I can’t just throw away. When I work on projects, I must see it through and give my focus to it. I can‘t diddy daddle. If I do, nothing gets done. And if nothing gets done, it weighs on my mind and seeps into my personal life and my family life. Eating dinner with wifey, or playing with my boy, my mind and my attention isn’t to them, it’s to the unfinished projects.

                I’m now forced to think about my time and not just fritter it away. Like scheduling times to train client, I have to schedule time for myself, for my family, and for growing my business. But it doesn’t always go according to plan. Sometimes I still have unfinished business or projects that affect family time and personal time. But it’s getting better, and that’s the way it should be. I’ll keep learning better and better time management skills. As a father, you have to.

 

Patience: I Thought I Had Some, but Quickly Realized I Had to Develop More

                 I’ve always considered myself a patient person (although wifey would disagree), but I’ve learned I still have room to grow. When your boy throws temper tantrums, refuses to eat, refuses to sleep, won’t stay still while you change him, gets whiny, wakes up in the middle of the night.....you have to learn patience. Getting angry will not help the situation. When they are a baby (toddler now), they don’t know better. They’re not able to communicate what they want all the time. You have to figure it out. That’s where patience comes in. They don’t care if you haven’t slept, or if you’re hungry, or if you’re stressed out. They want to know that they can be comforted by you. And if you come at them angry, one of two thing will happen: they’ll keep doing what they’re doing, or they’ll cry. In either case, you’ll still be angry.

                So remember: everything is for them. Develop patience. It’s not easy, but no one said parenting would be.

Love: Even When They Annoy You, You Still Love Them

                 On the inside, you know you’ll love your child, but deep down you never know how much you’ll love them. I like watching the show Frasier, and there is an episode where Frasier (Kelsey Grammer) is describing the birth of his son. I remember him saying, “you don’t just love your child, you fall in love with them.” It didn't take long for me to have that feeling. Mere days after my son’s birth, I couldn’t agree more with that quote. You do fall in love with your child. They are your flesh and blood and you want to love and protect them forever. Even when they may annoy you, even when they may anger you and test your patience, you’re still in love with them.

                I love my wife to death, and I love her unconditionally, but the love for a child is different. It’s an amazing feeling that only a parent can understand.

 

                Until the day I die, I will always be a parent. Being a father will never stop, and I don’t mind at all. It has taught me many things in a short time, and it will continue to teach me until I’m an old fool sitting in his rocking chair, with wife by my side, reminiscing about "the good ol' days."