How To Set Up Your Own PARE/POPAT Course

This post has been moved to its current home at www.rlconditioning.ca

You can find it here: http://rlconditioning.ca/blog/59919/How-To-Set-Up-Your-Own-PARE-POPAT-Course

My Continuing Lesson in Fatherhood

Last year I wrote a piece about the lessons I’ve learned as a dad. Feel free to check it out here. One year later and those lessons hold true now as they did then. And one year later, I’ve learned a few more things about myself. 

Becoming a Parent 

 

“What do you mean becoming a parent? You’re already a parent.”

Sure, I became a parent as soon as he was born, but now my parenting skills are being put to use.

- Teaching him right and wrong

- Playing games with him

- Disciplining him

- Taking him out and exploring the world around him

It’s no longer just feed him, burp him, change him, and put him to sleep.

It’s about teaching him to be a young man, making sure he does the right thing, and not be a selfish little a-hole.

Loving Your Child More

I may call my boy an a-hole sometimes, but it’s true (parents, you know what I’m talking about). But I still love the little guy. And the love for him grows stronger and stronger each day.

I find myself missing my son more and more when I’m away. Every time I see other toddlers, I can’t help but think about my little boy running around like a crazed monkey. He’s in his terrible twos, but I don’t see it that way (mainly because he entered that stage before he even turned two).

I see a little boy learning and growing at an exponential rate. He’s constantly pushing his boundaries, and testing mine and wifey’s patience. But even when he does, I can’t help but love him.

His innocence is so precious, and I want him to hold onto that for as long as possible.

Developing the look

Ever had your mom give you that look? Or the stare down your dad had? I’m starting to develop mine.

 

Each time he throws a temper tantrum or whiny fit, I look at him. He’ll try to hit me, but I’ll grab his arms and stare him down. And I’ll say as few words as possible. Because I know the more I say something, the more he fights back.

Stare him down, and say nothing; he won’t know what to do.

Being a role model

He may be 2, but he’s aware of the world around him. He sees everything I do, even when I think he’s not paying attention.

We may think kids at this age are, for lack of a better word, dumb, but they’re smarter than you think. They know what’s going on around them and are understanding the world by the minute. What they see you do, they will copy. And with Jonathan I can see the thought processes that occur in his wee little mind.

I have to watch out what I say. I freely swear around him, but one day I can see him dropping an F bomb, or saying something that rhymes with “it” and starts with “sh”. I don’t want those being his first words.

I also have to watch my actions and emotions. I can have a temper, and I don’t want my boy picking one up too. He’s beginning to develop one, but so far I’ve done enough to keep it in check.

I Observe Him, a Lot

It’s fascinating to watch my boy. I watch him play with his toys. I watch him watching TV. I watch him observe a simple blade of grass as he twirls it in his tiny fingers.

I watch him because I can see him trying to learn. He wants to know how things work and so everything intrigues him. Sometimes he has this look of deep concentration, like “ok, so this is what this does, and that’s what that does...”

How’s this a lesson? In today’s world where everything seems to move so fast and be complex, we forget how simple life can be, and how there can be joy in just watching the natural world around you.

Being Hands Off

I let my boy be. I give him the freedom to run around and fall so he can learn to pick himself up. As long as he doesn’t get into anything that will hurt him (or get into something he’ll destroy), I let him do what he wants to do.

He needs to learn his limitations, and he can’t learn that if I’m constantly on him.

The worst thing you can do to a child is restrict them.

Console When You Have To

Even though I want to be hands off, I will still be there when he falls. Maybe not to pick him up, but to let him know that it’s ok.

Falling is not a bad thing, and it doesn’t hurt as bad as he makes it out to be.

Kids will fall, and they will hurt themselves, and they will cry. But don’t baby them. Console them, and let them know that falling isn’t a big deal.

Fatherhood is an ever changing process. What used to work before doesn’t now. I’m always learning what it means to be a dad. In all of life’s challenges, this is my greatest. But it’s also the one I look forward to the most.